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Large Apple

April 3rd, 2012 (01:11 pm)
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Hello dear (and dead) LJ.

I didn't even look at my last recent entry but I know it's been forever ago. This place is like a ghost town and that actually feels pretty good. So long are the days of wanting to spill my guts to the entire public, but mostly Russia (because that's the most active group here on LJ nowadays, right?). I'd much rather have intimate conversations in person or on my far-too-grown-up house line with close homies than tell you, internet, every little thought that crosses my mind. But, that's all to say, I miss you! So, I'll indulge every now and then.

It's interesting to think that there was a recent period where I had no close friends. It was painful having people just outside of my bubble, but never anyone that could penetrate inside. Now I have tended my friend garden to be full of people who I can trust and will love unconditionally. There are a group of us, mostly couples in long-term relationships, who are on the same little water slide in life. Marrying, having babies, finding ways to still embody our youthful whims. Then there are my single friends who keep me close to the single Christina who knew exactly what it felt like to go home alone and make late night tea, silently contemplate her day.

I'm about 3.5 months pregnant. I feel like these last 3 months have gone by SO SLOW. Days went from being what I call "middle school slow" to about "high school slow". While I never went to middle school, that age period for me was the slowest of my life. Days felt like 5 of my normal ones today. High School managed to be slow, but not terribly so. Unless some terrible drama loomed all around me. My waistline has never been so big (nor have my breasts) and my appetite was as big as it was when I weighed 210 lbs waaaay long ago. I look in the mirror with a mixture of excitement and selfishness: "OMG I'm really going to have a baby! OMG will I ever be able to fit into my clothes again?" I've been deriving a stringent workout plan for when this baby is born, as I struggle now to have the energy for working out or even stay away long enough to gorge on dinner.

I'm having a baby boy. I was having twins. But that's a story I'll save for another day. I'm not sad, just glad I have one healthy, active baby in there who reminds me of his presence every time I try to lay comfortably down for sleep. My sides feel like they are stretching internally. I have to sit hunched because sitting erect can cause a little ball of heaviness to heave to the side.

My baby is the size of a LARGE APPLE. I can't even comprehend. I remember when he and his sibiling were just the size of green olives. Mmmmm, green olives...

Anyway, that's all I have in me for now. Quite disjointed and meandering. Just like the good ol' days.

Comments

Posted by: DA STEREOHOG (stereohog)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2012 08:57 pm (UTC)

Wow! Congrats! x

Posted by: DA STEREOHOG (stereohog)
Posted at: April 3rd, 2012 08:57 pm (UTC)

And welcome back, haha.

(Deleted comment)
Posted by: myfavoritename (myfavoritename)
Posted at: April 4th, 2012 03:53 am (UTC)

congratulations, and your'e welcome back to lj anytime.

Posted by: Katy Blue (katyblue04)
Posted at: April 4th, 2012 05:55 am (UTC)

I love you, and that's all.

Posted by: sadderfiction (sadderfiction)
Posted at: April 4th, 2012 09:07 am (UTC)

it's amazing the way things seems to carry on when you're not looking. Congratulations...I have loved seeing into your life over the years and wish you and your new family all the very best :) Please, come back and ramble any time you see fit :)

Posted by: downstream from somebody else's dream (studxkitten)
Posted at: April 4th, 2012 11:16 am (UTC)

i'm so happy for you - you deserve it! keep us updated on everything!

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